the essence of the triforce

i have done it. it is over. 15 years in the making and i have finally beaten the legend of zelda: a link to the past...on super nintendo. and with no outside help. well, that's not entirely true; i definitely utilized the internet in some sticky situations, but for the first time there was no one there i could hand the controller to when i got in over my head, my brother was not standing by with his years of built up wisdom for me to rely on for direction. it was just me, alone on my couch, covered in blanket, snotty tissue (i'm sick, hence all the extra time on the couch to accomplish said goal), and the waves of life affirming warmth from my heater. a part of me wishes someone had been there to bear witness to this great deed. though another part of me is happy it was done in solitude; i think only my brother who has sat beside me for countless hours of wandering through hyrule in search of potions to renew ones mystic energy, maidens trapped in crystals, and an ever evolving magical arsenal, could appreciate what this means to me.

i have wondered many times as i sat, eyes focused, thumbs sore from the frantic pushing of buttons, why do i love this game so much? why have i never given up? i have never beaten the original super mario brothers and i must say, i really don't care. and i own it; at any time i could blow the dust out of the cartridge, probably incorporating the t-shirt blowjob (those who know super nintendo know what i'm talking about), shove it into that grumpy slot at just the right angle and pit myself against it {ha ha ha, i never knew video game playing was so suggestive, she said knowingly}. but i don't, i always pass it by for my much loved bronze and red label, go back into our complicated and turbulent history. and after having finally beat it, i get it, know why it has always intrigued me so: it is classic fantasy translated into a simple, yet somehow unerringly amusing, interactive format. i realize that since the game came out there have been sequels and prequels and hundreds of other far more elaborate and complicated games created, but for me, zelda captures the essence of all that is good about video games. perhaps this stubborn love of it's simplicity is why i never advanced beyond super nintendo in my gaming, but that's neither here nor there.

so now, officially, for any of those who didn't know, i am a geek. i love fantasy. that's right, i said it. i get caught up in the mystery of unknown worlds, the wordy descriptions of faces and places, appreciate the minute details of clothes and cultures, and have been moved to hunger by the descriptions of feasts full of mutton and treacle (i don't even know what this is, it just sounds delightful {wikipedia has just informed me that it's a sugarcane syrup similar to molasses, who knew}) and such, but most of all i love the possibility of it. i am enamored with the perspective it provides on the world i do know, for anything we create exists in the context of what we call reality, is defined by its accordance or opposition to it. not that i believe zelda to be a great statement about the state of the world in 1992, but it stands as an amazingly fantastical creation, full of it's own creatures, topography and mysticism and offers me just as much in the way of "unrealistic" (in quotes because i believe as pete philly & perquisite do, that every bit of reality starts with a dream) possibility as any ursula k leguin story.

15 years in and there are still ridges and areas of forest i have never been to, and unfortunately because of designer imposed limitations, can never go to, mountain tops seen on the map that are always just off screen. and that's what keeps me going back, the knowledge that i will never truly conquer that land, it will always have secrets i am not privy to. i revisit hyrule with the same cozy feeling as that of cracking open one of my favorite books for the millionth time (being a die-hard re-reader), and there's a good chance that book is fantastic (literally, not colloquially).

and on a totally unrelated note, while being sick i have spent more time than usual on the internet and have therefore encountered some of its infinitely interesting offerings, which i will now share. enjoy.

stressed? follow the example of one brave iraqi reporter and hit bush in the face with a shoe
(thanks andy!)

everybody loves trannies!

and this is why i have very little faith in human kind as a whole

and on an even more unrelated note, as a follow up to my beautifully narcissistic post about what a peculiar human being i am, to know me is to also know that i have no standard sense of time; you're lucky if i know what day it is, exceptionally lucky if i can also tell you the date. i made it a point to call a friend of mine on the east coast at precisely 9 o'clock pacific time so as to catch her at the moment it became her birthday; only to be greeted by uncontrollable laughter, which only stopped long enough for her to tell me it wasn't her birthday. oh well, it's the thought that counts.